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by Paloma Kritas (Author)
This book is written for survivors of traumatic events.
It is written in a poetic format since the author could not stay in those psychological and emotional spaces for long. The book starts with poems dedicated to the loves of my life and mostly to my children, so they are aware of my experiences as I was developing into their mother. The economic hardships experienced as a young child, in addition to the physical violations coupled with severe medical issues in my childhood, these experiences left scars on my soul. I have carried this story for many years and now can finally tell it without feeling afraid of facing it in retrospect.
It begins with asking for a witness to the pain and moves to a pledge to my Salvadoran abuelo during his last trip to the U.S. to see his children in the U.S. in 1991. His daughter's, my mother's forty years of sacrificing her personal happiness to provide a home for us any way she could, including allowing herself to bear domestic violence and economic abuse is also represented in these pages. The second chapter explores the psychological labor pains of giving birth to my present independent self, psychologically tearing down the ghost of memories and reckoning with my buried past life.
Writing and using the pen as my sword allowed me to conquer those memories and moments in the past where I was helpless to defend myself. The memories described here shaped me, but they did not break me. Setting these memories free like butterflies allowed me to open the cages in my mind, setting my true self free. I could no longer hold onto them, they needed to flutter in freedom as I did I when I let them go.
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